We are not going to give you a shot for free, and we don't have a million dollars to give you.
We also don't have hamburgers, omelettes, pancakes, eggs, sausage, etc. (Would we really be working at this coffee shop if we had a million dollars?) Rest assured, the jokes are funny.
The first time.
You are not the first person to come through and say them. Trust me on this. (The only exception to this is if you know, absolutely know, that the barista helping you is in training, or it's their first day on the job. In this case, joke away. But only in this case.)
Monday, June 29, 2009
Monday, June 22, 2009
Minors and Caffeinated Drinks
Now, I don’t presume to tell you how to raise your children. I have several brothers and sisters, a couple of which I have technically helped raise, and I have worked extensively with the pre-teen age group, but I don’t have children, and so realize that I have very little actual parenting experience to share on the subject.
That being said, are you people crazy??
A woman recently drove through my shop and ordered an Americano. She requested that we add all kinds of sweetener to it. (several sugars and many, many pumps of flavored syrup)
As she came up to the window she apologized for being “such a pain” and adding all the sweeteners. She told me it was for her son, he didn’t like how bitter the espresso was. After glancing through the windows, there was only one person in the car, a small boy, in a car seat, couldn’t have been more than four-years-old.
But hey, maybe her son is at home and she’s taking the coffee to him right?
Wrong.
After I handed her the Americano, she turned right around and handed it to the little kid in the backseat.
Now I trust the majority of parents not to do this, but this is not the first time I have seen a little kid get a coffee beverage, and I’m sure it won’t be the last. (Though usually it’s a Mocha, not an Americano.)
But still, it begs the question, are you nuts??
That being said, are you people crazy??
A woman recently drove through my shop and ordered an Americano. She requested that we add all kinds of sweetener to it. (several sugars and many, many pumps of flavored syrup)
As she came up to the window she apologized for being “such a pain” and adding all the sweeteners. She told me it was for her son, he didn’t like how bitter the espresso was. After glancing through the windows, there was only one person in the car, a small boy, in a car seat, couldn’t have been more than four-years-old.
But hey, maybe her son is at home and she’s taking the coffee to him right?
Wrong.
After I handed her the Americano, she turned right around and handed it to the little kid in the backseat.
Now I trust the majority of parents not to do this, but this is not the first time I have seen a little kid get a coffee beverage, and I’m sure it won’t be the last. (Though usually it’s a Mocha, not an Americano.)
But still, it begs the question, are you nuts??
Monday, June 15, 2009
How Fast Can I Get This Drink?
I’m only going to say this once.
AS FAST AS WE MAKE IT.
That’s as finite a time that I can give you.
It depends on how many drinks are ahead of yours, if we have to special steam your milk (if, for example, you ordered soy milk), how much preparation goes into your drink (quite a bit for some of the blended drinks), etc.
All of these things add time. That’s the way it is. (See also Drinks Take Time)
When you rush into our shop in a whirl, and demand to know how much time it will take for your Mocha (or whatever), you need to know that we will make it as fast as we can, but the drinks aren’t instantaneous. (See Manifesto Point #7 Drinks Take Time.)
We’re not suddenly going to drag our feet to make your latte (oh yeah, let me take forever on THIS drink), and it will be done when it’s done.
End of story.
AS FAST AS WE MAKE IT.
That’s as finite a time that I can give you.
It depends on how many drinks are ahead of yours, if we have to special steam your milk (if, for example, you ordered soy milk), how much preparation goes into your drink (quite a bit for some of the blended drinks), etc.
All of these things add time. That’s the way it is. (See also Drinks Take Time)
When you rush into our shop in a whirl, and demand to know how much time it will take for your Mocha (or whatever), you need to know that we will make it as fast as we can, but the drinks aren’t instantaneous. (See Manifesto Point #7 Drinks Take Time.)
We’re not suddenly going to drag our feet to make your latte (oh yeah, let me take forever on THIS drink), and it will be done when it’s done.
End of story.
Monday, June 8, 2009
We Know How to Make the Drinks
Our whole first week of training is how to make your drinks, tasting the drinks to make sure they taste the way they are supposed to, etc. etc. etc. At the end of this week, believe me, we know how to make whatever it is that you are ordering.
Stop back seat barista-ing.
Have you ever actually been behind the bar? Have you ever actually tried to make multiple drinks at one time? Are you absolutely certain that the cup you are looking at in our hand is yours? (Look for upcoming post Make Sure You Pick Up Your Drink)
We know how to read the cups.
We know how to steam the milk.
We know the difference between decaf and regular espresso shots.
You are not somehow smarter than I am, you do not somehow know more than I do. The only people that have the same knowledge are other baristas. (Who, btw, need to shut up just as much as some of the normal customers.)
Stop back seat barista-ing.
Have you ever actually been behind the bar? Have you ever actually tried to make multiple drinks at one time? Are you absolutely certain that the cup you are looking at in our hand is yours? (Look for upcoming post Make Sure You Pick Up Your Drink)
We know how to read the cups.
We know how to steam the milk.
We know the difference between decaf and regular espresso shots.
You are not somehow smarter than I am, you do not somehow know more than I do. The only people that have the same knowledge are other baristas. (Who, btw, need to shut up just as much as some of the normal customers.)
Monday, June 1, 2009
We Know How to Say Your Drink
For some reason many of you love to say your simple drink as complicated as you possibly can.
The weird thing is that when we say it properly you freak out that we're giving you something weird.
Without going into too much detail about how to order your drink, (Please see the How to Order posts) please trust that we know how to say your drink in the simplest way possible. A large, non-fat, sugar-free vanilla latte, - with an extra shot – is much easier said: a triple large skinny latte.
They are one and the same, I swear.
If we hand you something totally wrong, then you may feel free to freak out, but please refrain until then.
The weird thing is that when we say it properly you freak out that we're giving you something weird.
Without going into too much detail about how to order your drink, (Please see the How to Order posts) please trust that we know how to say your drink in the simplest way possible. A large, non-fat, sugar-free vanilla latte, - with an extra shot – is much easier said: a triple large skinny latte.
They are one and the same, I swear.
If we hand you something totally wrong, then you may feel free to freak out, but please refrain until then.
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